I really believe my intensified, joyful expectation of Easter Sunday was mostly the result of reading so much about it in the days leading up to it. This was the day the Lord made and I totally rejoiced & was glad in it (as I used to recite to the children when they'd wake up in the morning- I need to get back to doing that, by the way). I have that verse (Psalm 118:24) on my window above my sink to remind me on the difficult days (which sometimes seem to outnumber the easy days)! Today could probably qualify as an "easy" day. :)
Conversation with Jason on our van ride to church group about what we had read this week in the Bible was *rich*. Worshiping with our church group (friends who really are my brothers and sisters,) was so powerful & moving to me; now more than ever, it makes me excited about Heaven! Time spent with Papaw & Nana searching for Easter eggs, eating way too much, even finding the younger ones trying to hide the fact that they'd unwrapped & ingested obscene amounts of those little chocolate eggs was still somehow relaxing and so enjoyable. Yet all those things aren't what prompted this post.
About 8 years ago when we moved here I felt very strongly that I must get to know our new neighbors and share Christ's love with them in any way possible. I felt convicted that though we lived in our old house nearly 5 years or so, I hardly knew a single neighbor. With all that Christ had done for me and the mandate in Matthew 28:19 to "go and make disciples", how could I not at the very least, share His love with those who lived closest to me? I often came up with the excuse to God "But I have young children! It's just not a season of life for me to reach outside of my home... I'm discipling my children!" but my heart was still unsettled. He impressed it strongly on my heart that I was not here, in this home, in this neighborhood, with these neighbors, by accident! Regardless of my insecurities about reaching out to people I didn't know, I knew He was asking me to get outside of my comfort zone and share His truth with these neighbors around me. Besides that, if I wanted to teach our children to live & love others like Jesus, it would be hypocritical of me not to live it myself (and not to mention, would likely turn our older young ones off from Christ when they get to the age of owning their faith).
One way we came up with to connect with those who live around us was to walk door to door to around to 20-25 of our neighbors at Easter and ask how we can pray for them, (8 kids in tow with some holding single stem tulips, some carrying cards with a message of Christ's love and some trying not to eat a bowl of fun size chocolates;). We almost didn't do it this time... Easter came quickly and I didn't get the flowers in advance as I usually do. The thought briefly occurred to me just to skip it this year but for some reason (God's prompting) I felt I shouldn't. So late last night Jason went out & bought the things we needed and Zeal and I stuffed the cards and put everything together in a basket.
We headed out at 7:30 this evening (the only time we had today to deliver the cards & such). Jason & the oldest 6 went to each door, in the sprinkling rain as I prayed from the idled dry van with our youngest 2. "Lord, please be with these neighbors... touch their hearts somehow with these small gifts... use Your Word to draw them closer to You." (All this as our 3yr old kicked one of our sick, 70-something neighbor lady's legs *SIGH!*). As I thought about how to discipline him, I saw the kids running to the next house, a beautiful 92yr old Christian woman's home that we always visit, my thoughts shifted, "Really, God... Is any of this worth it? Are we making a difference in anyone's lives?? Does our presence really matter to this woman?"
When she invited us inside (as she always does,) He answered me through the words of this sweet lady. "Oh, I'm SO glad you all came! I thought you weren't coming this time!! I was so sad today, missing my husband and thinking you wouldn't come... I listened to the radio for 2 hours and they talked about Jesus (which was wonderful,) but I was wishing I could just open my door and Jesus and His angels would be standing there... I really didn't think you'd come! I talked to people on the phone about you today... my daughter said maybe you were sick... several times I looked for you... I was sitting on my back porch... and then I heard the children!!"
We were all standing in her kitchen as the younger ones were running around. I heard things being moved around by our children in the other room. As she said the words, "I wish I could open the door and see Jesus and his angels." Jesus' voice, in the midst of all the noise the children were causing, quietly and thankfully whispered to me, "You let me answer her prayer to see me and my angels tonight."
Hearing the voice of God clearly share to my heart how much He can do with my pathetic attempts to stretch into the lives of a few, melted me as she repeated her gratitude. The surprise is that He actually wants to use us, these broken jars of clay to show Himself to a lonely widow who was looking for Him and us on Easter. Tears, Awe, and Brokenness.
"But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us." ~2 Corinthians 4:7
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